Cementing our own Limiting beliefs

I have been spending days on end mulling over life, love and trying to solve the world’s problems in my head and the one aspect of human nature that keeps coming up in conversation is based on our own limits we place on ourselves.
It is quite amusing when speaking to people, how you can pick up their blocks that they are building around themselves, all to the detriment of our own happiness.
Why is it that we naturally place deal breakers in place when building relationships?
Is this based on past experiences we have been through, or seen these happen in other people’s lives, or are we being indoctrinated by society, organizations and religion?
I have a friend that is so in love with someone of a different religion and has conditions in place for the special someone to convert to their religion before any sort of relationship can proceed. In my opinion, religion is a personal belief and something that should not be imposed onto someone else. But this person is denying themselves a potentially perfectly normal, happy and fulfilling relationship / soul mate / marriage and family based on someone else’s religious beliefs.
Personally my relationship deal breakers are based on abuse: Physical, alcohol and drug abuse to be exact. Coming from a household where this was so rife, I had to make a stand and vow never to be in that situation again. So as soon as I see these traits come out in someone, I remove myself from that situation.
Infidelity is a hard one, as this can take on many forms. Emotional infidelity, to me, has left the deepest scar. It is almost like the physical act does not compare to the lying, deceit and betrayal you feel on discovering your partner has not been honest. In fact, that they have been fabricating another life in order to cover up the infidelity.
What other barriers are we building with regards to friendships, work and adventure that we are cementing into firm beliefs? Truths that cannot be broken, even to our own detriment and happiness?

This life we live is an adventure, but it is the journey we should be taking note of

I have just arrived home from a premier of the movie 180’ South.
More of a documentary of one man’s quest to follow in the footsteps of some of his hero’s to climb the mountains of Patagonia.

His journey takes you through the trials and tribulations of him getting to the final destination as well as his personal learning’s along the way.
The sad part is that there is no Al Gore in a supporting role. You get taken on a rollercoaster ride of magnificent visuals, massive mountains, beautiful valleys and amazing surfing footage alongside the absolute raping of the natural environments for industry. But this is not something that is going to be widely viewed by the general money hungry population.
The one man’s quest for a summit of a particular mountain is overshadowed by the conservation efforts of a handful of people trying to stop large companies from building bridges across rivers in Patagonia to supply power to the major cities of Chile like Santiago.

I was constantly reminded of some friends that I have that have not conceded to the materialism of this planet and are those guys that pack up their lives in a backpack sans the surfboard and head off into unravelled territories to find solitude.

One quote from the movie stood out for me as majorly profound: “ The hardest thing you can do is simplify your life!”

I have on the odd occasion found myself culling possessions in this quest for simplification. And yet I felt massive pangs of guilt getting home and seeing that the very things these guys are trying to curb allow me to charge my ipod for hours on end.

As I embark on my own journey to Beline in Mozambique in just over 24 hours, I am taking the time to reflect on my place in this world. I know I need to heal my heart and soul, but I also want to connect with nature again. Clear my head and get close to the angels. With this in mind it made sense that today when I was looking for a book to take with in case of some bad weather, I found myself buying a blank journal. So I can spend my time reflecting.

I am looking forward to planning my next adventure. I have a list the length of my arm of places I still want to explore. We just need to remember that it is not the destination that we should be aiming for, but rather living in the moment of the journey, appreciating every day for the wonders of nature and the fantastic people that we allow into our lives.

At what point do you let go?

I am pretty sure that most people know someone that abuses some kind of substance.
Be it alcohol, weed or any harder kind of drug.
A mate of mine is addicted to Cocaine.
He is at a point where he has lost his job, lost all his friends and even if he has not realised it yet, is about to lose his paternal rights to his daughter.
So I was doing some research on the subject, as there needs to be a time where you say enough is enough!
Functional drug abusers are one thing, but to sit back and watch a friend hit rock bottom is worse. Hell is trying to help them and being slapped in the face around every corner.
Extracted from coca leaves, cocaine was originally developed as a painkiller. It is most often sniffed, with the powder absorbed into the bloodstream through the nasal tissues. It can also be ingested or rubbed into the gums.
To more rapidly absorb the drug into the body, abusers inject it, but this substantially increases the risk of overdose. Inhaling it as smoke or vapor speeds absorption with less health risk than injection.
Popular street names include Aunt Nora, Bernice, binge, blow, Charlie, dust, mojo, nose candy, paradise, toot and white.
“Addiction should be understood as a chronic
recurring illness that requires treatment.”

Having watched endless episodes of Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew, I did manage to understand some of the issues surrounding someone addicted to a drug of this nature.
The respect for themselves hits rock bottom, they lie, they cheat and they lie a little more.
All to get to the high that they think will get them out of the hole they are constantly digging for themselves.
So where to from here? Is rehab the only option? Does rehab work? How do you get to someone that is so far down the road that they need more than just an intervention, because if left alone after a 12 step programme, they will head back to the same dodgy street corner to score?
There are so many prescription pills on the market that are there to assist people to get off the harder stuff. But this is a never ending saga of going around in circles. I knew a guy that gave up booze only to chain smoke himself to death. Where do you draw the line?
What are the deal breakers for friends of addicts?
When do you let go?

When is it time to let go?

People all start something with a dream, a dream of success.
Be this a new job or career, a relationship or marriage, a new venture or chance at a different life.

The uphill battles that accompany anything new sometimes feel impossible. Dealing with people, laws, criticisms and possibly failure must be one of the hardest things to overcome.
To make sure that you get out of bed every day and continue with that fight to get to your dream is definitely the hardest part of any venture.
Starting a new job, career or company is so daunting. Having done this myself, I can relate to the late night working just to get through the workload. The sleepless nights wondering where the next pay check is coming from.
Apart from all the elements you may or may not understand, like in my case business law and taxes.

I do feel particularly sorry for artists in this world.
This covers all artists like designers, writers, musicians and the like. Having to produce parts of yourself everyday for external scrutiny must be mortifying. I have seen clients ripping apart advertising concepts with no real knowledge of what they particularly wanted or no regard for their bad briefing techniques.
Don’t get me started on muso’s. These poor guys literally spend hours composing tracks and songs to put out on radio only to be dissed by the music fraternity that should be supporting them in the first place. It is the one industry that makes it so hard to succeed that natural talent goes to waste as people quit before they can make it.

My latest whinge is definitely about the state of relationships in the world.
I am the most disappointed with the lack of integrity and willingness to work on something that needs time and a bit of effort. This disposable nation we live in where there is instant gratification and throwaway anything and everything. Nothing is built to last and no one is prepared to put in the time and effort to work on something good.
I have found that with time and age, I have managed to work through the friendships that matter and are worth spending time and effort with and know when to let go and not pay attention and allocate time to the people that are not worth it.
The biggest question with regards to all of this is, when do you know when to let go?
When do you say no to toxic relationships, bad jobs and backstabbing work colleagues.
When do you take what the general public say seriously and when do you believe in yourself and your values that what they say does not matter?

The spring / summer obsession

So the gymming obsession has begun.

Throughout the winter months only the regular gym bunnies and boy bodybuilders and hectic runners were in the gym.
The rest of the nation was snuggled up on the couch eating themselves into a bad body image.

Virgin Active has launched their Colour meFit plan where they do lots of programmes to get new people signed up and back into the gym.

This means that there is no parking, crowded tredmills and lots of people very miserable with their bikini body that they do nothing but winge and whine at the personal trainers trying to get them to move their wobbly winter asses into action.

The one girl that really got my goat was a woman that was about 10kg overweight. Her "hate handles' were mushrooming over her pants and her stomach was a 10 year heart attack waiting to happen.
The personal trainer she had hired was desperately trying to get her to do some squats which even on my good days are a shocker!
After 2 minutes of this, she spent 5 minutes listening to him speak about his kid while she paid him to make her stand still.

She then proceeded to ask him if this exercise was going to help her lose weight!
ONE SESSION and some SQUATS and already she is on the question path of "is this going to make me lose weight???"

I felt like interjecting and giving her the real advice on how to lose the weight!
30km's of running a week
Wire your jaws shut and stop eating all that McDonalds
Stop whining and get moving rather than speaking shit to your personal trainer!

I have been working on my body and self image for 2 years. 2 years to take 8% of my body fat and get it out of my body and these women are expecting 10 minutes of gym to miraculously make all their issues disappear!.

It is no wonder that all the women’s magazines are selling copies based on getting a bikini body is 4 weeks and losing all that winter fat in no time!
Since starting life coaching, I am wondering if my solutions driven opinions will be well received instead of the “so what do you think your problems are?” that normal coaches and shrinks do.

I personally feel people need a strong straight talking person to kick them up the rear instead of having people pussyfoot around issues.

Travel Blog Egypt take 2 Day 4-5

A few hours later, we finally found some boats at a wreck. I was convinced that this was going to be an easy transition. They were tasked to take me to the Coral Princess.
The guys on the Italy 2 which I was now on did not speak any English and just grabbed my drinks out my hands and placed others in them. You just do as they say…
When we zoomed past a boat with the Wild and Blu sign on it, I dashed to someone to point out that they had missed my drop off point and could they stop so I could get off, they refused!
I was getting hysterical for the second time that day as I watched the Wild and Blu Coral Princess fade into the distance. Tears were streaming down my face as I scrambled for my phone again and called Saffwat for the 4th time that day.
The Italy 2 were taking some very rude Italians snorkeling my a reef and they were not concerned about me at all.

A grey dingy was sent for me, and I watched it zoom past, head to some other boats and zoom past again back to the Coral Princess. Another call and some more sniveling later, they came back and got me. Finally I was about to see the rest of the crew.
It was lunch time on Thursday. My trip had started on Tuesday.

Getting into a little grey dingy with some more Arabs I did not know was the least of my issues, I had seen the boat and I was finally going to get there.
Arriving at the boat and seeing Pears and Charis made my week. I managed to scramble aboard and everyone greeted me with gusto and I managed to get to Pears before bursting into tears with sobs so hard it wracked both our bodies. They really did not know what to expect and they were supposed to be headed out to a dive.

After Chazzy shoved a sweet down my throat to calm me, I insisted that they go on their dive and I wormed my way to find Asha and Romy on the front deck sun tanning.
They were trying to calm me down, which Romy did a fabulous job of when she suggested we head for a swim along the reef. Mask and snorkels in hand, I had my first experience of the red sea at last.

I was amazed at the coral reefs. Even from the top of the water, they were so colourful and amazing.
So many little fish, big fish, funny looking creatures all around, busy playing, fighting, chasing each other around the reefs. It was amazing.
Also amazing enough for me to get some sunburn on my back (The spot I did not reach with my hands putting sun block on).

The divers got back an hour later in time for some lunch. Food on the boat was cool. I tried to stay away from any meats, and did a Chazzy and remained veggie for the time I was on the boat.

Apparently the entire group had the worst jippo guts imaginable at the beginning of the trip.
They were weak and miserable and were discussing disembarking the next day.

Travel Blog Egypt take 2 Day 3-5

So day 2 waking up in Egypt with croissants and rolls (blah) sufficed enough for me to be in reception checking out in time for my lift.
Even the reception guys talk about you with you in front of them. Really rude.
Women don’t work in Egypt, so the balance is really out in the work place.

So it turns out that the dude that was supposed to fetch me overslept and they had sent a taxi that the manager had paid for. I was not happy about this. I was told there would be someone to collect me and when a bunch of arabs all babbling trying to force me into some dodgy taxi I got hysterical.

They made me leave my (what was left of my) luggage on the pavement for me to confirm with the dude at reception that I was to go to the port in the taxi, I reluctantly got in.

Of course I am now kitted out in a baseball cap and sunglasses and never shall they leave my head.

The taxi driver tried to make some conversation, but gave up half way up the road.
I was not playing ball anymore.


He dropped me off at the port and luckily I had the number of the tour operator and I called him for further instructions.
He told me he was sending a guy.

I saw some dude stride past me and I thought I recognized him, but he did not look up and there were hundreds of westerners (Brits, Italians etc) getting into the port.

A phone call later, we met up and I was not allowed to go with him until I had spoken to the tour operator on his phone.
I was plonked on a boat and told to stay there. Some people got on and some got off, but the guy that met me at the port stayed there until the boat set sail. I was finally on my way to meet the rest of the crew.

Travel Blog Egypt take 2 Day 2 - 5

So I decided that my initial ideas about the Egyptians were completely wrong.
I spent a lot of time wondering if I was going to be sold for camels and I did not like the way they look at you and constantly ask if you are married (No ring – big mistake) or have a boyfriend.
They constantly ask your name and to see your eyes. Bugger. Those baby blues were a cause of great interest all the time.

I was not able to get onto the boat on my first day.
I was escorted to a really nice hotel though – which I had to fork out another $90 for though, but I was told to send my luggage on and I would be contacted shortly to let me know when I would follow.
I did not know what the hold up was, apparently, I was told later that they did not have a permit for me. Humph! So a day at the pool being some what harassed by the locals (And I thought they were just being nice.

Late afternoon, I decided to find the beach, 50 m from the hotel. It was beautiful with a coral reef just meters into the ocean.
There I met another local, who was very interested in getting me to sit on his chair and later on show me all the disco’s in town. I think not.
He kept on asking if I was married, in a relationship and eventually came to the conclusion that if I was single and over 30 that I was a hooker and very openly asked me if I wanted to go make sex. Charming.

Anyway, it eventually got so uncomfortable, I made some lame excuse about meeting the rest of the group for dinner at the restaurant. He said he would wait for me to finish and we could go to the disco’s. Yeah right.
I ate a selection of salads and fruit salads for dinner and was haggling the waiter for the slip to sign when the manager came to explain that they had charged me only $79 Egyptian instead of the usual $125 Egyptian because I only ate salads.
Considering the exchange rate is pretty much 1:1 to the SA Rand, it was an expensive salad.

I decided to do a slow jog (Read: sprint) to my room to avoid the dude waiting on the beach seeing me, and decided that breakfast in my room would be the best thing.
I proceeded to watch an Arab version of the Series channel for the rest of the night and not venture outside.
Eye contact with the locals would be avoided like the plague.

Day 3 will be up tomorrow...

Travel Blog Egypt take 2

On Friday I leave for my second ever trip to Egypt.

I am very excited to head out to the red sea and do some more scuba diving, as this was probably the only part of my previous trip that was not traumatic.

I went 4 years ago to Cairo and Sharm el Sheik. I pulled out some of my notes from the previous trip, this is how it started:

Yikes, I managed to get onto the plane last night and curl up and sleep.
The Arabs are quite forward, I think it is the language barrier, but they just do things like put food in front of you and take stuff away without much consultation.

I have been quite nervous about the trip and rightfully so.
There is nothing here, everything is grey and sand coloured.
And there is a lot of sand.
Arrival at the airport saw 18 Casa’s lined up with military signature on them. We could do with a few of those as jump ships for sure. Skydiving planes in South Africa are few and far between.
There is a lot of security personnel and lots of strange people staring a lot.

The men look at me funny, like a curious look. Not ashamed to stare. But very respectful and smile a lot.

I got off the bus at the entrance with the entire Bafana Bafana team. Damn, these guys are clueless. They all just wander aimlessly around the place.
I saw Ahmed with a sign for me, so I got through the initial check ok.
Then onto passport control.
Lots of people get turned away, some dude was traveling on a British and SA passport and they did not want to accept his British passport and visa.
He was told to go somewhere else and he refused to move without his passport, which they refused to give him.
Eventually, they made me push past him, with Ahmed’s help, got through 3 more security checks. This type of attitude starting to make me nervous...

There are lots of Ahmed’s brothers that work at the airport, doing the security thing with helping people get through the system.
He pointed out 4. No wonder there is a network of note in the middle east.

So I am an hour early for my flight and no one else around. Quite intimidating. The check in and waiting area is completely deserted.

I did manage to find out the Ahmed lives an hour from the airport, by the pyramids.
He travels to work each day with his brothers. Car pooling should help save money.

I asked about the fighting over the way. The wars seem so close in the middle east.
His reply was, "they eat, they drink they fight. Sometimes it affects us, but not much."
Sweet answer.

He was amazing and showed me where to get coffee, find the loo and sent me off to the gate.

Thank goodness I had some dollars on me, so I could pay him for his help. It was all worth it.

On the bathroom, there was a lady that services it to the T.
Hands you a wad of loo paper, practically washes your hands for you and switches on the drier.
The lady was very sweet and asked straight away if I was from SA. And cheerfully bantered on about the SA soccer team.
Of course she wanted a tip too, so a few more dollars were parted with.
This came to be the norm. Paying for safe passage through the ranks of the Arab world...

And so the adventure begins.

If you like Nickelback, you will like these guys

This small band out of South Africa knocked my socks off!

Elusion is a Johannesburg based band that I saw recently at a live gig in South Africa.

The music scene in SA is very small and unsupported, but amazingly enough, the talent comig out of the country is awesome.

Check them out and let me know what you thought!

Rock am Ring 2010

I have just returned from a long weekend in Germany where my partner and I attended the Rock am Ring music festival.
www.rock-am-ring.com/

I was so excited to go again as last year I saw some amazing acts.
This year i discovered some awesome bands, but was also a bit disappointed by some of my favourites.

The one I was super surprised about was a band called Stone Sour.
www.stonesour.com/
The lead singer is Corey Taylor from Spliknot fame. Since the death of the guitarist from Slipknot, I suppose the last gig at Rock Am Ring 2009 would be the last time I would see them.
It is amazing how many musicians are in multiple bands. This band is definitely someone to watch out for.

Australian band Airbourne were favourites on the second day. http://www.airbournerock.com/
These old time rockers put on a fabulous show. Pure rock and roll. The front man was amazing climbing the stage rig and hanging 5 stories above the ground! Very crowd pleasing.

I was deeply disappointed with Kiss. These guys should have left their memory and legacy where it was. I had the feeling that I was watching some strung out hobo’s trying to make some money to eat. They were good in performing their older work. Dressed up in their full make up and platforms. But somehow, the glitz of the 80’s has gone.

30 Seconds to Mars was an act I was so looking forward to. In the hour and a half they were on stage, they sang 4 songs. 4 SONGS!! That was it. It seemed that there was something wrong with members of the band leaving the stage and someone staying behind to try entertain the thousands of fans that were there to see them. I was very disappointed indeed. And Jarrod’s hair is Horrid.

Rammstein were fabulous. www.rammstein.de/
They put on a pyro show like I have never seen before. They are completely on top of their game and were the show of the weekend.

JayZ had a great stage show, it was a pity there were bunches of the crowd that were booing them all the time.

The final band I wanted to comment on was Them Crooked Vultures. www.themcrookedvultures.com/
This band sounds like the guy from Queens of the Stone Age singing and playing guitar with the bass player from Led Zeppelin and the drummer from Nirvana. No really, these 3 guys have had the best successes through their lives and now this band is their chance to revel in themselves. As a musician, you will love this band. I thought they were very self indulgent. But that is just me.

That is it for Rock am ring line up revert. More on the actual event later.

Australia Football Team arrives in SA

The Aussie football team is the first to arrive for the Fifa Soccer World Cup.
ACSA is telling everyone that there is a new terminal for the players to be escorted through the airport without any interference from fans.
It is a concern that fans cannot even welcome the teams to the country...

Parachutist lands with dislocated shoulder.

I was so proud of my AFF student this weekend.
Not for the fact that he never told me he had a weak shoulder, but on exiting the airplane, he dislocated his shoulder.
Trying to work through the pain to do the required moves in the sky, I eventually realised that he had dislocated the shoulder and we needed to act quickly on getting him under a parachute.
In a matter of 20 seconds from exit to open, he was under a parachute and the second instructor and me were hauling back to the DZ to let the ground crew know that we had a situation to deal with.

Once we were on the ground, we saw that he managed to release his steering toggles and manoeuvre himself towards the DZ.
He responded very well to the radio and took both toggles in his left hand for the flare and slid in a landing into the student pit.

He headed off to Lesley Williams hospital for some Pethadine and to reset the shoulder.

Now he needs some rehab and a way to strengthen the weak muscles around the shoulder so this does not happen in the future.

He was fully aware of what was happening and with some intuition and mental telepathy, we all knew what was happening.

I am very proud and a little in awe of this guy and what he managed to achieve yesterday. Well done Clive.

BTW, if you are looking to skydive in Johannesburg, have a look at http://jsc.co.za/

When the angels are yelling!

I have felt in limbo for some time now, not just about my disgruntled feelings about the state of the nation and the SWC, but about my life in general.

Work has been less than inspiring and I have been studying something part time to see if that can change the course of my life anytime soon.

The issue is the decision making process.
My angel cards are all urging me to make a decision.
They are saying that there is movement ahead, but they are waiting for me to make the call to where I want to be so they can assist.

How insane is that?
How do I know which is the right choice to make?
Where do I go from here?

It is not just a path choice, just the decision in itself.

Time to meditate on it!!

When the angels are yelling!

I have felt in limbo for some time now, not just about my disgruntled feelings about the state of the nation and the SWC, but about my life in general.

Work has been less than inspiring and I have been studying something part time to see if that can change the course of my life anytime soon.

The issue is the decision making process.
My angel cards are all urging me to make a decision.
They are saying that there is movement ahead, but they are waiting for me to make the call to where I want to be so they can assist.

How insane is that?
How do I know which is the right choice to make?
Where do I go from here?

It is not just a path choice, just the decision in itself.

Time to meditate on it!!

Give Miss America a break!

I am always amused every year when the scandal mongers get out and try make a quick buck at someone else's expense.

So she entered a pole dancing competition. It is not like she WAS a stripper or a hooker.

My friends have had pole dancing lessons for Bachelorette parties and I am sure there are a few pics of me swinging on the pole. Does that make me morally inept?

I don't think so.

People who work with their sexuality in these cases are frowned up on, but I am sure if you had to ask all the male judges and guests at the Miss USA pageant if they have been to a bachelor’s party or a strip club, you will be hard pressed to find anyone who has not.

She has not killed anyone, slept with anyone for money, shown up naked anywhere but in consensual adult relationships, so I fail to see the relevance of her having a bit of fun with some female friends.

If Miss USA pageant organisers want angelic girls in this day and age, they need to ask for Virgins and have them verified as they post their entry forms.
They may need to reduce that entry age to like 12??

Fifa Soccer World Cup 2010 Favorite places to eat!

Because South Africa is expecting so many visitors to the country, I was thinking about my own personal favorite places to eat!

Because I live in JHB, these are my top 5 for today.

Easy eating:
Primi
The Primi network is amazing. Good food and reasonable prices.
Pizza and Pasta mixed in with meats, veggies and lighter meals.
http://www.primi-world.com/

Rocket
The best fillet steak in the north!
Prego's to die for and the best fries.
http://www.rocketrestaurant.co.za/

Ocean Basket
The most cost effective seafood in town.
The seafood platter for one is great value.
http://www.oceanbasket.co.za/

Adega
The Best King Prawn Special in JHB!!
Their Sushi is amazing. Try the salmon roses.
http://www.adegas.co.za/

Rodizio's
Brazilian fare and great vibe!
Stunning.
Beware of the shooters :-)
http://www.rodizio.co.za/

Let me know what you think!

Colour Therapy - setting ourselves up for depression

It is something I have found interesting looking at the seasonal changes.
Coming into winter, the colours of the season changes to brown, bronze and black.
The garden dies off, the grass dies off and we all start getting depressed.

The fashion industry follows nature and releases the browns, blacks and darker colours into the shops for us to surround ourselves with.

The problem with this trend is that it is human nature to stay indoors where it is warm, starving ourselves of the critical sun exposure and Vit D that keeps our moods stable.
The depressive natures then start to rear their heads, making people hibernate even more.

Like me, my mom, my partner and many friends are all starting to anticipate this horrid move from happy summer person to miserable and grumpy blah, staying home rather than going out, grumbling instead of singing and generally being a boring and uninteresting person to be around for the next 4 months.

Now, I have been doing some research on this and how we can possibly combat this cycle and I have found some solutions:

Colours:
By dressing in and surrounding yourself with brighter and more summery colours you can artificially uplift your mood.
Buying bright coloured blankets for your couches to snuggle in, brighter carpets and even changing curtain colours, you can instantly brighten a room to be more conducive to a happier mood.

Music:
Playing uplifting music at home before work, in the car and when you get home can also increase your happy hormones!
Singing along will help even more.
Stay away from soppy love songs and heartbreak hill misery tracks, as these will have the opposite effect.

Flowers:
Bringing fresh flowers into your home and increasing the freshness with incense, room freshener and some open windows will instantly uplift the environment.
Choose bright colours for a vase in a prominent place in your home.

Try this for this weekend and let me know how it worked!