Cementing our own Limiting beliefs

I have been spending days on end mulling over life, love and trying to solve the world’s problems in my head and the one aspect of human nature that keeps coming up in conversation is based on our own limits we place on ourselves.
It is quite amusing when speaking to people, how you can pick up their blocks that they are building around themselves, all to the detriment of our own happiness.
Why is it that we naturally place deal breakers in place when building relationships?
Is this based on past experiences we have been through, or seen these happen in other people’s lives, or are we being indoctrinated by society, organizations and religion?
I have a friend that is so in love with someone of a different religion and has conditions in place for the special someone to convert to their religion before any sort of relationship can proceed. In my opinion, religion is a personal belief and something that should not be imposed onto someone else. But this person is denying themselves a potentially perfectly normal, happy and fulfilling relationship / soul mate / marriage and family based on someone else’s religious beliefs.
Personally my relationship deal breakers are based on abuse: Physical, alcohol and drug abuse to be exact. Coming from a household where this was so rife, I had to make a stand and vow never to be in that situation again. So as soon as I see these traits come out in someone, I remove myself from that situation.
Infidelity is a hard one, as this can take on many forms. Emotional infidelity, to me, has left the deepest scar. It is almost like the physical act does not compare to the lying, deceit and betrayal you feel on discovering your partner has not been honest. In fact, that they have been fabricating another life in order to cover up the infidelity.
What other barriers are we building with regards to friendships, work and adventure that we are cementing into firm beliefs? Truths that cannot be broken, even to our own detriment and happiness?

This life we live is an adventure, but it is the journey we should be taking note of

I have just arrived home from a premier of the movie 180’ South.
More of a documentary of one man’s quest to follow in the footsteps of some of his hero’s to climb the mountains of Patagonia.

His journey takes you through the trials and tribulations of him getting to the final destination as well as his personal learning’s along the way.
The sad part is that there is no Al Gore in a supporting role. You get taken on a rollercoaster ride of magnificent visuals, massive mountains, beautiful valleys and amazing surfing footage alongside the absolute raping of the natural environments for industry. But this is not something that is going to be widely viewed by the general money hungry population.
The one man’s quest for a summit of a particular mountain is overshadowed by the conservation efforts of a handful of people trying to stop large companies from building bridges across rivers in Patagonia to supply power to the major cities of Chile like Santiago.

I was constantly reminded of some friends that I have that have not conceded to the materialism of this planet and are those guys that pack up their lives in a backpack sans the surfboard and head off into unravelled territories to find solitude.

One quote from the movie stood out for me as majorly profound: “ The hardest thing you can do is simplify your life!”

I have on the odd occasion found myself culling possessions in this quest for simplification. And yet I felt massive pangs of guilt getting home and seeing that the very things these guys are trying to curb allow me to charge my ipod for hours on end.

As I embark on my own journey to Beline in Mozambique in just over 24 hours, I am taking the time to reflect on my place in this world. I know I need to heal my heart and soul, but I also want to connect with nature again. Clear my head and get close to the angels. With this in mind it made sense that today when I was looking for a book to take with in case of some bad weather, I found myself buying a blank journal. So I can spend my time reflecting.

I am looking forward to planning my next adventure. I have a list the length of my arm of places I still want to explore. We just need to remember that it is not the destination that we should be aiming for, but rather living in the moment of the journey, appreciating every day for the wonders of nature and the fantastic people that we allow into our lives.

At what point do you let go?

I am pretty sure that most people know someone that abuses some kind of substance.
Be it alcohol, weed or any harder kind of drug.
A mate of mine is addicted to Cocaine.
He is at a point where he has lost his job, lost all his friends and even if he has not realised it yet, is about to lose his paternal rights to his daughter.
So I was doing some research on the subject, as there needs to be a time where you say enough is enough!
Functional drug abusers are one thing, but to sit back and watch a friend hit rock bottom is worse. Hell is trying to help them and being slapped in the face around every corner.
Extracted from coca leaves, cocaine was originally developed as a painkiller. It is most often sniffed, with the powder absorbed into the bloodstream through the nasal tissues. It can also be ingested or rubbed into the gums.
To more rapidly absorb the drug into the body, abusers inject it, but this substantially increases the risk of overdose. Inhaling it as smoke or vapor speeds absorption with less health risk than injection.
Popular street names include Aunt Nora, Bernice, binge, blow, Charlie, dust, mojo, nose candy, paradise, toot and white.
“Addiction should be understood as a chronic
recurring illness that requires treatment.”

Having watched endless episodes of Celebrity Rehab with Dr Drew, I did manage to understand some of the issues surrounding someone addicted to a drug of this nature.
The respect for themselves hits rock bottom, they lie, they cheat and they lie a little more.
All to get to the high that they think will get them out of the hole they are constantly digging for themselves.
So where to from here? Is rehab the only option? Does rehab work? How do you get to someone that is so far down the road that they need more than just an intervention, because if left alone after a 12 step programme, they will head back to the same dodgy street corner to score?
There are so many prescription pills on the market that are there to assist people to get off the harder stuff. But this is a never ending saga of going around in circles. I knew a guy that gave up booze only to chain smoke himself to death. Where do you draw the line?
What are the deal breakers for friends of addicts?
When do you let go?

When is it time to let go?

People all start something with a dream, a dream of success.
Be this a new job or career, a relationship or marriage, a new venture or chance at a different life.

The uphill battles that accompany anything new sometimes feel impossible. Dealing with people, laws, criticisms and possibly failure must be one of the hardest things to overcome.
To make sure that you get out of bed every day and continue with that fight to get to your dream is definitely the hardest part of any venture.
Starting a new job, career or company is so daunting. Having done this myself, I can relate to the late night working just to get through the workload. The sleepless nights wondering where the next pay check is coming from.
Apart from all the elements you may or may not understand, like in my case business law and taxes.

I do feel particularly sorry for artists in this world.
This covers all artists like designers, writers, musicians and the like. Having to produce parts of yourself everyday for external scrutiny must be mortifying. I have seen clients ripping apart advertising concepts with no real knowledge of what they particularly wanted or no regard for their bad briefing techniques.
Don’t get me started on muso’s. These poor guys literally spend hours composing tracks and songs to put out on radio only to be dissed by the music fraternity that should be supporting them in the first place. It is the one industry that makes it so hard to succeed that natural talent goes to waste as people quit before they can make it.

My latest whinge is definitely about the state of relationships in the world.
I am the most disappointed with the lack of integrity and willingness to work on something that needs time and a bit of effort. This disposable nation we live in where there is instant gratification and throwaway anything and everything. Nothing is built to last and no one is prepared to put in the time and effort to work on something good.
I have found that with time and age, I have managed to work through the friendships that matter and are worth spending time and effort with and know when to let go and not pay attention and allocate time to the people that are not worth it.
The biggest question with regards to all of this is, when do you know when to let go?
When do you say no to toxic relationships, bad jobs and backstabbing work colleagues.
When do you take what the general public say seriously and when do you believe in yourself and your values that what they say does not matter?

The spring / summer obsession

So the gymming obsession has begun.

Throughout the winter months only the regular gym bunnies and boy bodybuilders and hectic runners were in the gym.
The rest of the nation was snuggled up on the couch eating themselves into a bad body image.

Virgin Active has launched their Colour meFit plan where they do lots of programmes to get new people signed up and back into the gym.

This means that there is no parking, crowded tredmills and lots of people very miserable with their bikini body that they do nothing but winge and whine at the personal trainers trying to get them to move their wobbly winter asses into action.

The one girl that really got my goat was a woman that was about 10kg overweight. Her "hate handles' were mushrooming over her pants and her stomach was a 10 year heart attack waiting to happen.
The personal trainer she had hired was desperately trying to get her to do some squats which even on my good days are a shocker!
After 2 minutes of this, she spent 5 minutes listening to him speak about his kid while she paid him to make her stand still.

She then proceeded to ask him if this exercise was going to help her lose weight!
ONE SESSION and some SQUATS and already she is on the question path of "is this going to make me lose weight???"

I felt like interjecting and giving her the real advice on how to lose the weight!
30km's of running a week
Wire your jaws shut and stop eating all that McDonalds
Stop whining and get moving rather than speaking shit to your personal trainer!

I have been working on my body and self image for 2 years. 2 years to take 8% of my body fat and get it out of my body and these women are expecting 10 minutes of gym to miraculously make all their issues disappear!.

It is no wonder that all the women’s magazines are selling copies based on getting a bikini body is 4 weeks and losing all that winter fat in no time!
Since starting life coaching, I am wondering if my solutions driven opinions will be well received instead of the “so what do you think your problems are?” that normal coaches and shrinks do.

I personally feel people need a strong straight talking person to kick them up the rear instead of having people pussyfoot around issues.

Travel Blog Egypt take 2 Day 4-5

A few hours later, we finally found some boats at a wreck. I was convinced that this was going to be an easy transition. They were tasked to take me to the Coral Princess.
The guys on the Italy 2 which I was now on did not speak any English and just grabbed my drinks out my hands and placed others in them. You just do as they say…
When we zoomed past a boat with the Wild and Blu sign on it, I dashed to someone to point out that they had missed my drop off point and could they stop so I could get off, they refused!
I was getting hysterical for the second time that day as I watched the Wild and Blu Coral Princess fade into the distance. Tears were streaming down my face as I scrambled for my phone again and called Saffwat for the 4th time that day.
The Italy 2 were taking some very rude Italians snorkeling my a reef and they were not concerned about me at all.

A grey dingy was sent for me, and I watched it zoom past, head to some other boats and zoom past again back to the Coral Princess. Another call and some more sniveling later, they came back and got me. Finally I was about to see the rest of the crew.
It was lunch time on Thursday. My trip had started on Tuesday.

Getting into a little grey dingy with some more Arabs I did not know was the least of my issues, I had seen the boat and I was finally going to get there.
Arriving at the boat and seeing Pears and Charis made my week. I managed to scramble aboard and everyone greeted me with gusto and I managed to get to Pears before bursting into tears with sobs so hard it wracked both our bodies. They really did not know what to expect and they were supposed to be headed out to a dive.

After Chazzy shoved a sweet down my throat to calm me, I insisted that they go on their dive and I wormed my way to find Asha and Romy on the front deck sun tanning.
They were trying to calm me down, which Romy did a fabulous job of when she suggested we head for a swim along the reef. Mask and snorkels in hand, I had my first experience of the red sea at last.

I was amazed at the coral reefs. Even from the top of the water, they were so colourful and amazing.
So many little fish, big fish, funny looking creatures all around, busy playing, fighting, chasing each other around the reefs. It was amazing.
Also amazing enough for me to get some sunburn on my back (The spot I did not reach with my hands putting sun block on).

The divers got back an hour later in time for some lunch. Food on the boat was cool. I tried to stay away from any meats, and did a Chazzy and remained veggie for the time I was on the boat.

Apparently the entire group had the worst jippo guts imaginable at the beginning of the trip.
They were weak and miserable and were discussing disembarking the next day.

Travel Blog Egypt take 2 Day 3-5

So day 2 waking up in Egypt with croissants and rolls (blah) sufficed enough for me to be in reception checking out in time for my lift.
Even the reception guys talk about you with you in front of them. Really rude.
Women don’t work in Egypt, so the balance is really out in the work place.

So it turns out that the dude that was supposed to fetch me overslept and they had sent a taxi that the manager had paid for. I was not happy about this. I was told there would be someone to collect me and when a bunch of arabs all babbling trying to force me into some dodgy taxi I got hysterical.

They made me leave my (what was left of my) luggage on the pavement for me to confirm with the dude at reception that I was to go to the port in the taxi, I reluctantly got in.

Of course I am now kitted out in a baseball cap and sunglasses and never shall they leave my head.

The taxi driver tried to make some conversation, but gave up half way up the road.
I was not playing ball anymore.


He dropped me off at the port and luckily I had the number of the tour operator and I called him for further instructions.
He told me he was sending a guy.

I saw some dude stride past me and I thought I recognized him, but he did not look up and there were hundreds of westerners (Brits, Italians etc) getting into the port.

A phone call later, we met up and I was not allowed to go with him until I had spoken to the tour operator on his phone.
I was plonked on a boat and told to stay there. Some people got on and some got off, but the guy that met me at the port stayed there until the boat set sail. I was finally on my way to meet the rest of the crew.